Keeping in mind that everyone is different and has a different perspective of life, there is one thing that I believe holds true for us all and that is wanting to speak our truth. We all desire to be seen and to be heard no matter what our circumstances are. We want people not just to listen to us but truly hear what we are saying by our words or by our actions.
There is always an underlying message in everything we say, don’t say and do or don’t do. It could be a call for help, or a personal celebratory pat on the back, a sign of a lost soul looking for guidance or merely just wanting to be acknowledged and appreciated by those we hold dear. Whatever it is we thrive when we are “seen” or truly “heard” or we can live in despair and depression if not.
Before we are able to truly see or hear another we must see and hear ourselves, we must connect with our heart source, our feelings, understand where they come from and the reasons they are there in the first place. Understanding ourselves and the reasons we feel what we do, especially when those feelings are ones of hurt, pain or suffering, is the best way for us to free ourselves from the control our emotions can have over us. Freeing ourselves from that control will then enable us to truly see and hear another person in a compassionate and supportive way.
Many people fail to speak their truth and express their feelings for various reasons including fear of offending others, fear of appearing vulnerable or fear of being rejected and they keep them inside. This, in itself, is harmful as the emotions and feelings can eat away at a person’s confidence or self-esteem.
When you hear another person speak their truth about their feelings what is your first reaction? Do you really “hear” what they are saying and try to understand why they feel the way they do? Do you truly listen or are you thinking about what you can say next? Or do you merely react based on how what they are saying affects you personally?
Any person speaking about their feelings does so because of what is going on inside of them, it has nothing to do with the trigger that made them feel that way but their own internal issues. For example, if you are talking about your feelings in relation to another person, it really has nothing to do with that person but more about you and why they triggered those feelings.
On the flip side, if you hear another talk about you in a negative light then that is all about what is going on inside of them at that moment and not about you. Or if someone expresses their feelings to you, do you immediately respond based on your own feelings? Your only real relevance to their feelings is how you react. Do you take offence because your ego is hurt? Or do you step back and ask yourself why would they feel that way about you in the first place? Are you dismissing and diminishing the importance of them and their feelings by reacting this way, do you even truly care about them in the first place?
Do not dismiss another person’s feelings by being offended by them, clearly they are dealing with their own emotions, and you were just the trigger that set them off. Not everything is about you and the more we can acknowledge that and let go of our ego and not take offence the more non-judgmental, understanding and compassionate we become.
If you are unable to truly express your own feelings, if you keep them hidden or deny they even exist, then you will not be able to understand another’s or be the safe place and support they may need. If that is the case, you may do more damage than good. The deep-rooted reasons behind our emotions and feelings are a result of our beliefs and conditionings from the lives we have lived from the moment we are born. If we fail to discover those reasons, then we are denying our own feelings, will lack an understanding of ourselves and will not be able to truly support others as everything will revolve around our own ego and needs.
Do not be afraid to speak your truth and express your feelings gently in a way that serves you. Never feel you have to apologize for speaking your truth because another person has taken offence or has dismissed your feelings as being unimportant and then simply attacks you and tries to make it all about them. Your feelings and emotions are about you, not them. Understand the reasons you have them, learn the lessons and the triggers that created them in the first place, acknowledge them and then release them if they no longer serve you. Speak your truth for your truth can set you free!
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