So Grateful for this journey that has been LIFE-CHANGING!

The journey called life is frought with many obstacles, and depending on the way we look at things, it either has more highs than lows or vice versa.

The last two months, I have had the most amazing journey of my life, without comparison. If I am being brutally honest with myself, I have not really had a happy life until now. Sure, there have been pockets of happiness, but most of my life, I just existed and went through the motions, and I was never truly happy. I have made mistakes and bad choices that I wish I hadn’t and some still haunt me on occasion, but I am a changed woman in so many ways.

Those who truly know me, and there are only a few, know that no matter what, I will always look for something positive from every situation, something to be grateful for. I can say the last 10 years have been excruciating where at times I thought I would die by my hand or someone elses. Even warned by my doctor, I had to change certain situations. Otherwise, I would not survive.

Many people saw me as a happy, positive person, and on the outside, that was possibly true, but inside, I was in constant pain and tears. I learnt the hard way that there are people who will never appreciate me, care about me, or love me and will resent any happiness that comes my way. There are also people who wish me harm, even ones that I held close to my heart. I have, for my own survival, had to walk away from people, some of whom are family, for their presence in my life was killing me.

I have spoken my truth as I see it and been condemned for it, I have begged some to leave me alone only for them to intrude again on my peace, resorting to threats and abuse when I no longer played their game. But all through that in my heart, I knew that there was something better, that I was valuable, that I was appreciated, that people did care. All I truly had was my writing, music and a few trusted friends, and my intrinsic belief that there was something better.

Then, with a good, honest friend by my side, I embarked on the most amazingly exhilarating journey filled with adventure, laughter, food (and more food), music, music, music, and some dancing, amazing natural, historical and culturally significant sites and a spiritual journey that has finally opened my heart fully to the wonders, love and joys of life.

I have reconnected with people that I have not seen for years, been reminded of my love for them and theirs for me, and the closeness I feel as an adopted member of their families. I have been reminded that being true to who I am and just being me is enough. I have learnt that fantasies do come true and real love exists in the most unexpected places.

Most importantly, I have again been reminded of the importance of music in my life and how, in my darkest times, it was music that saved my life. I have met some amazingly talented musicians who are just as good as any around the world, the difference being the humility and the generosity of spirit, while mostly playing for less than $2 an hour, relying more on the tips received from guests to support their families. But still, they play with a smile, entertaining the guests and showing their appreciation.

I have learnt that we all have the right to live our lives however we want, as long as no harm comes to others and we should never feel guilty for doing so. Being able to receive blessings, purification, lessons, and healing from deeply spiritual and respected people has been both humbling and instantly rewarding. My heart, mind, and spirit are now opened widely to receive all the abundance that life has to offer. I am no longer scared to be who I am meant to be, and I am proud to be her.

I can honestly say I now, for the first time in my life, truly LOVE my life. So, to Soraya, my travel buddy and partner in crime, I will be eternally grateful for your honesty, your joy, your generosity, and your friendship, knowing we will share many more adventures together. 

To the spiritual people I have been privileged to gain healing, clarity and wisdom from, Mangku Dayu, Mangku Wayan, Ida Bagus Sogi Sogi you all inspire me to live a humble life, pure of heart, thank you.

To the friends I have reconnected with, DD, Kopet, Cokie, Bronat, Deny, Rudy, Wayan, Putu, Awik, Locong, Bayu, Ngakan, Widi and Sogi I say thank you from the bottom of my heart for reminding me that good honest people do exist. I am humbled to call each of you friend and so appreciative of your friendship and the safety I feel because of it.

And to the new friends I have made, Yoga, Gung Junk, Cok Bayu, Rege, Oenyel, Putu, Joe, Komang, Mira, Celia, Ning, Wayan and any others I have forgotten thank you for helping make this so special. And to Agung Angus, whose talent is amazing, and his passion for music has reminded me of the power of music to lift our spirit and reignite my soul and heart. I am eternally grateful.  You are an amazing human being, open, humble, caring, respectful, and super talented, never change.🙏

And finally, to the person that has reminded me that dreams and fantasies do come true, that real love does exist and is worth taking a risk for and opening my heart for, thank you, I love you ❤️.

Now, for anyone struggling in life, believe that you are worth more than you could ever imagine. If the people around you don’t make you feel that way, then you are with the wrong people. LIFE is worth living, and you have every right to do it your way and be happy. Never be scared to explore new opportunities and meet new people. You never know what life can bring. If you need help, reach out, I am happy to help you discover joy and happiness.🙏🙏❤️❤️

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