No matter how hard we try to avoid conflict, sooner or later, we are all going to be confronted by some form or another. Whether it be as a consequence of something we have done ourselves or merely being in the wrong place at the wrong time, conflict will find us. Maybe the conflict is caused by ours or other peoples expectations or perceptions.
No one is able to please everyone, no matter how good a person you are, or how hard you try. How we perceive our actions is not necessarily the way others do. We can do our best with the best intentions, and still, there is likely to be at least one person who is dissatisfied or possibly even hurt or offended by what we do.
If we live our life expecting others to behave a certain way to fulfil a personal need of ours, then we are surely going to be disappointed. It is our expecations of others that will lead to disappointment or hurt feelings when those people do not live up to them. When they surely fail to live up to the expectations we have of them, it can create tension and conflict and, in some cases, destroy relationships completely.
Why can we not just accept people the way they are, accept whatever contribution they are able to make in our lives, and be grateful for what they do? Why are some people never satisfied or continually seek to find fault in others? I am not perfect and have never believed I was, but I have always tried my best to do what I was raised to believe is right by others. That in itself could create tension as what I believe is right another person may not. That is the difference in our perceptions.
Often, I have failed in the eyes of others, even though I have done my best and given whatever I was capable of giving. For many years, I struggled with feelings of inadequacy as I was often put down for not being the person others wanted me to be. It has taken a lot for me to step out of that shadow and stand in my own power. After embarking on a deeply spiritual, healing, and cathartic journey under the guidance of amazing spiritual advisors, I am now standing in my power with no guilt at all.
Some will continue to say I have failed them, and that is their right as it is their opinion, but I was me and gave what I could, if they were dissatisfied with that then maybe their expectations of me were too high for me to live up to. Whatever it is, I know in my heart I did the best I could, and the only regret I have is that I tolerated other’s constant criticism for far too long.
I have no expectations of other people except politeness. People can be who they are, and that is okay with me as long as they do no harm to others and are polite. I do not expect people to respect me, accept my choices or like what I do as they do not have to, however, I will never again be made to feel guilty for living my life in a way that brings me joy, or surrounding myself with people who accept me the way I am and are never judgemental.
Throughout my spiritual journey, I learnt that I am good enough the way I am, that I need to let others deal with their own expectations and disappointments, and stay quiet and peaceful. I gained the guidance and protection I needed to reject all negativity and remain focused on my true path. My door will always remain open to those people who show respect, love, compassion, acceptance, and sincerity. Negativity, criticism and toxicity is no longer welcome.
The greatest gift I received during this journey was the ability to accept myself as I am and be truly open to the beauty of real unconditional love and believe that it is what I deserve. I have found my self-belief, my self-worth, my power, my light, my bliss, my tribe, my love, and I am eternally grateful.
I place no expectations on others, my perceptions are not necessarily the truth or fact, but merely how I see things, and I will not judge other people based on those perceptions. How others perceive me is on them and really none of my business and is merely a reflection of what is going on inside of them. Everyone has a right to live their life their way and I am now living mine.
Vicki Spencer 
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