Change the Narrative.

People are curious beings, they can be intelligent entrepreneurs with a philanthropic mindset, a simple empath with a penchant for helping others or they can be a manipulative callous narcissist pent on controlling their world and all around them or they can be anything in between. Whatever one grows to be it is all in the choices they make either consciously or sub-consciously. Sure, there are some that suffer from medical and/or mental conditions that will determine their role, but for the most part it is the choices they make that determines their fate.

Our upbringings can have an effect on those choices, there is no doubting that, as it can create patterns and beliefs in us that can either nurture or stunt confidence and personal growth. Many people seek help and guidance when they are struggling as they see their lives not progressing as they hoped, and they want to make a change for the better. There are those that have suffered addictions who struggle with kicking their habit and those that will do everything possible to do so.

Some have suffered severe trauma and abuse who find it difficult or impossible to escape the cycle of abuse and the psychological impact and there are many who escape the pain and suffering through their own courage, strength and their decision to seek help and do whatever it takes to do so. Whatever has happened in our lives it is our choices that determine what we do next. If we continue to portray ourselves as a victim always blaming others for where we are in our lives, our childhood, our parents, our siblings then we really have only ourselves to blame. No, we are not necessarily to blame for what has transpired in the past or the impact of what others have done to us, but we are certainly responsible for how we react and to blame if we continue to ignore the reality and our own part in our lives and that where we go from here is our choice and our choice alone.

We cannot continue to blame others for our lot in life if we are continuing to make the same choices and are getting the same results. Sure, our parents may have instilled some beliefs in us that do not serve us but at some point, as adults we are capable of changing those beliefs and stepping forth to make changes for our own future. We are, after all, the only ones in real control of our lives. If we put expectations on people to live their life a certain way, then we are only setting ourselves up for disappointment. If we take offence at another person for setting boundaries for themselves that impact on us, then we are letting our egos take control and are making someone else’s life about us and we are not having compassion or consideration for them.

Whichever way we choose to live our life it is the narrative we tell ourselves that will determine the path our life will follow. If we are always blaming others for our life and failing to acknowledge our own choices and behaviors that may have contributed to where we are then we will always live in a victim mindset and we will never break that cycle. We all know people that no matter what happens, no matter how good we are to them, we will never please them, they will always find fault with what we do. But that is the narrative they choose to tell themselves, that is what they want others to believe for it makes them feel better about themselves. Do not let their narrative control your life. Choose your own narrative that will have you living a more positive life where you are in control of your own destiny.

Change the narrative and take a chance on yourself, start telling yourself how powerful you, how worthy you are and how no one but you can determine what you can achieve in your life. Be kind to yourself, be grateful for what you have and for what you have experienced that has brought you to this point in your life, even all the bad experiences. Stop the blame game and being offended by other people’s choices even if they have had a negative impact on you as each of us has the right to make choices for our own benefit. Do not hold on to anger, hate or any negative feeling towards another person to the point you feel it necessary to speak harshly to them or about them for that serves no purpose but reflects badly on you.

Look for the lesson in every situation, in every interaction, in every experience. Stop the complaining and the negative speak and change the narrative to be more positive and watch the positive experiences grow in your life.